in my twenties, aware of women
how much older
no way to say
discrimination lacking
all older is old
early aging equalizes
skin defeated, posture deflated
buckled underwatered saplings
stakeless and anemic
lipstick surrendering
fine ravines about the lips
appalling no unthinkable
in my twenties
obligation vow to self: battle
travesty to stay at bay
obligation lacking power to fulfill
exercise food fear sun fear
failing every way that self
delusion ignorance cocooned
vanity, o, hubris hiding shame
Not enough lights, camera, action
catapulting years arrive Pandemic
flesh and psyche illness
assault upon soul even God
recognition: my everywoman fate
mundane assault no woman worth
salt defending salt-gray hair
taken prisoner faded charcoal roots
in my twenties
sun issues spots sun spots
wisdom creases sheer neglect
popped up dots towns on a map
lumpish ranging white red purple
brown brown brown
terrain rough where boy discovered
thing smooth caressed supple taffeta.
cruelest morphosis gravity
nips? tucks? bankroll the futile
one knows cannot stop
bleeding my youth.
So freedom mortality
Embraced it I
Freedom my mortality took on I
gracious gift precious superior
freedom sans frivolity,
erase self-conscious dread
comes freedom blessed,
submitted I wholly what embraced
returned to me my youth
’though few so few save me could see.
***